It’s time for you to go and buy some DVDs, but you don’t know what’s good or bad? You want me to tell you what I’m getting? Well, here you go:
Grab ‘Em Right Away:
The Princess and the Frog
Directed by: Ron Clements & John Musker
Written by: Ron Clements & John Musker
Starring: Anika Noni Rose, Bruno Campos, David Kieth & Michael-Leon Wooley.
Why should you buy this? If you’re one of those who have been enjoying the recent Pixar revolution of animation but at the same time pestering Disney to not give up on traditional hand-drawn animation, this is the film for you. If you aren’t, this is still the film for you. It’s an amazing return to form for Disney with 2D animation and some brilliant songs. It’s wonderful retelling of the classic Frog Prince story with a bit of a twist. This is definitely a movie you’re going to want to add to your child’s (or just your) DVD rotation of animated musicals.
Give it a Chance:
Ninja Assassin
Directed by: James McTeigue
Written by: Matthew Sand & J. Michael Straczynski
Starring: Rain, Naomi Harris & Ben Miles
Why should you rent this? If you read the title of this movie and your natural response was “HELL YEAH!” then this is the movie for you. It’s very light on the plot and very heavy on the ridiculous ninja action. I did find it slightly distracting when I was able to tell when the director had placed in the CGI weapons and blood rather than making the action sequences more practical, but it the end it doesn’t hurt the movie enough to be a complete waste for action junkies out there.
Astro Boy
Directed by: David Bowers
Written by: Osuma Tezuka & Timothy Harris
Starring: Nicholas Cage, Kristen Bell, Freddy Highmore & Donald Sutherland
Why should you rent this? It is a fun kid’s film. There is really no other reason. If you don’t have kids to show this to, then consider this a skip. It’s not fun in ways that I recommend Miyazaki movies or Pixar films. It’s based off of a famous manga and it does stay true to the original property for the most part. It has all the action sequences and slapstick side characters (like the robotic resistance) to keep the kiddies interested. It’s not the best children’s film for an adult to watch, but there is much worse out there.
Avoid it Like the Plauge:
Armored
Directed by: Nimrod Antal
Written by: James V. Simpson
Starring: Matt Dillon, Columbus Short, Lawrence Fishburne, Jean Reno & Milo Ventimiglia
Why should you not bother arresting this movie? Because it is carefully filed in my long list of films that are a waste of your time. It’s one of the stupidest and blandest heist films you may just ever watch, if you happen to actually make it through it. It becomes more and more obvious that this is one of those movies that got made mainly because the studio happened to have four stars on contract and they cooked up a script in a couple of weeks and just churned out the most mediocre dross you could ever conjure up in your mind.
New Moon
Directed by: Chris Weitz
Written by: Mellisa Rosenberg & Stephanie Meyer
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner & Robert Pattinson
Why should you not choose wolf or vamp? Let’s see, how can I put this so that I don’t sound like every other guy shitting on Twilight and it’s crapfest of a vampire franchise. If you watch this movie you will see:
- A woman watching months go buy while she sits in a depression trying to will her Edward back to her, and she never seems to eat or take a shower.
- Every shot of Robert Pattinson will be of him in slow motion either shirtless or of his shirt being blown off
- Taylor Lautner will be shirtless also for most of this movie, and yes ladies if you lay him you will go to jail; remember that.
- Kristen Stewart will continue to always look depressed, even though her character is supposed to be happy in a scene.
I’d like to make it perfectly clear that everything above is a fact. This movie is not good. It’s better than its predecessor, but it’s still not anything resembling a good movie. Let’s hope that they get this franchise over with quickly so that we can forget it.
Jordan’s Blu-ray Deals of the Week
Face/Off [$9.99]
Eyes Wide Shut [$9.99]
Pineapple Express [$12.99]
Away We Go [$13.99]
The Rest
Mystery Science Theater 3000: XVII
Did You Hear About the Morgans
Monk: Season Eight
Breaking Bad: The Complete Second Season
South Park: The Complete Thirteenth Season
Broken Embraces
Paris
The Fourth Kind
Under Great White Northern Lights
Bandslam
SuicideGirls: Guide to Living
Wonderful World
Brief Interviews with Hideous Men
Blu- Ray
Gunslinger Girl: The Complete First Season
Gunslinger Girl: II Teatino (Season 2)
Breaking Bad: The Complete First Season
Pontypool
What are you picking up this week? What are you avoiding?