I tried coming up with a good opening line, but all I can muster is “HUH?!?”; THR reports that Cameron Diaz, who will be starring in this summer’s raunchy comedy Bad Teacher, has signed on to headline What to Expect When You’re Expecting, the adaptation of the popular “how to” book on pregnancy for Lionsgate. Much like He’s Just Not That Into You, the movie will feature a bunch of different storylines, this time relating to the joys and fears of pregnancy. Diaz will be playing a Jillian Michaels type who hosts her own fitness show that people with nothing better to do watch and pretend to exercise to. I would assume she gets pregnant at some point, or else that title is false advertising.

Adapting non-fiction self-help books into movies is such a shameless attempt at a cash grab that I don’t understand why anyone would support it. They are just going to use the name and the name alone people. It’s not like What to Expect When You’re Expecting has some sort of loical storyline to it. Lionsgate could easily, and I mean easily, name this whatever they want and keep the same exact plot. This is just them praying that someone recognizes the title, thinks “hey, I remember when that book didn’t prepare me for pregnancy at all!” and plop down their hard earned money when it comes out. It’s sickening and insulting and frankly…stupid. It’s just stupid. I wouldn’t even put it past them to release it in 3D.

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