Renowned horror author and filmmaker Clive Barker has oft remarked about his directorial debut, Hellraiser, that he had virtually no idea what he was doing while making it, going as far as to say that if someone had shown him a plate of spaghetti and referred to it as a type of lens he would’ve believed them. Yet for whatever experience David Bruckner, director of this newfangled streaming reboot, may have, his invention doesn’t even begin comparing with the (literary) visionary of a novice like Barker.
Adapted from Barker’s own novella The Hellbound Heart, Hellraiser was a modest hit that spawned a ten-title franchise. And even if, between a number of non-theatrical releases, the Hellraiser brand doesn’t exactly promise quality, the blandness of this reboot (don’t expect it to spawn one sequel, let alone nine) feels like something of a disservice to the iconography and darker implications of a series that nonetheless retains a cultural footprint even 35 years later.
What we get is a rather tough two hours, its remarkably bland actors hardly justifying our interest for so long. The unremarkable lead is Riley (Odessa A’zion), a recovering addict who lives in a cramped apartment with her concerned brother Matt (Brandon Flynn) and his partner Colin (Adam Faison). Feeling adrift and helpless in life, she tries a get-rich-quick-scheme with a tip from her support-group boyfriend Trevor (Drew Starkey), who encourages theft from a seemingly accessible safe. She comes into possession of a mysterious puzzle box (real heads will know it as the Lament Configuration), which is of course a wicked contraption that spawns a surprise blade. Dead bodies start piling up, and from there a dull procedural involving the box’s origin and an occult collector (Goran Visnjic) occurs.
A chief problem with Hellraiser is that we never feel its lead’s dark past. If partly the fault of the hair and makeup department for doing a remarkably unconvincing “unkempt millennial” job, the emotional stakes of “pain or pleasure” is more spoken text than deeply felt theme. But really everything about the proceedings reeks of streaming product, and even a cheap straight-to-video sequel like Hellraiser V: Hell on Earth (an early work from Scott Derrickson) has far more in the way of atmosphere and spooky setpieces than this supposed grand reintroduction to Pinhead and the gang. Cenobites, those lasting creatures of the series who have spawned designs both frightening and memorably ridiculous (one in the third installment literally shoots CDs), mostly resemble uninspiring, plastic Halloween costumes. Really only one memorably mean-spirited gore bit involving a nail gets under your skin, but by film’s end you’ll feel a little tired seeing those trademark hooks and chains shoot from the walls again.
While Jamie Clayton is fine as the new Pinhead—a character who, frankly, has always been more about cool design than the performance by Doug Bradley—she points to the unfulfilled potential. While the casting of the transgender actress seemed an encouraging sign this new Hellraiser would embrace Barker’s queer themes, this film feels (notwithstanding a gay couple) so free of sex, lust, or danger that it may as well have not bothered in the first place. A true missed opportunity, it mostly reveals the largely conservative nature of the once (supposedly) liberating streaming economy.
Hellraiser comes to Hulu on Friday, October 7.